Peggy Post: Advice for Peaceful Planning

I am back from two intense days at my very first Association of Bridal Consultants Annual Conference! It was inspiring and invigorating, and I am SO excited to take what I learned and make 2010 one heckuva fabulous year!

One of the highlights of the conference was keynote speaker and etiquette guru, Peggy Post, great granddaughter-in-law of Emily Post, THE original etiquette expert. Peggy now serves as the spokesperson for the Emily Post Institute.

Photo by Kurt Ackerman

She was literally 20 feet in front of me, how cool is that?!

Her topic focused on Peaceful Wedding Planning, and she really drove home a few key points (excuse me for the obvious paraphrasing below). You would think that much of this is common sense, but I’m sure we can all attest to the lack of good manners in the world these days! We’re all guilty of it too at times… and could use a reminder!

“
What is etiquette? Etiquette helps us figure out solutions to situations. It is more than table manners, it is what we do in life. Etiquette is simply how persons lives touch one another's.

Etiquette is about three main principles, and how we live the principles:

- Consideration
- Respect – interest in others as they are
- Honesty – sincere, truthful and tactful

Consider these ‘guidelines’, not ‘rules’, as they are fluid and ever-changing. ”

Peggy’s advice to handle wedding conflict:

“Compromise. Listen with an open mind and love every idea for 5 minutes as you allow others to voice their suggestions.”

I really thought this was a great tip: love every idea for 5 minutes. Haven’t we all been in the situation where two people are at odds and one person immediately shoots down the others’ idea? This is especially pertinent in the world of wedding planning when say, the bride wants one thing, and her fiance/mother/father want another thing. This could potentially lead to WWIII in some situations. Instead, Peggy suggests,

- Stay Calm
- Listen
- Stick with the facts
- Don’t get personal!
- Propose a solution
- Be willing to negotiate

And on another note… YES, in this age of technology, a hand-written THANK YOU CARD is still pertinent! Don’t just email/Facebook/Twitter your Thank You! Because Peggy said so :)

What a great speaker! My only regret was not bringing her book for her to sign afterwards!!